Funniest thing you’ve ever seen on the river?
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Hey guys –
Yesterday Lauren and I floated the Chattahoochee from Abbott’s Bridge to Medlock Bridge. This section goes by the Atlanta Athletic Club golf course and is very scenic. Unfortunately, yesterday it was a little too scenic! We had been fighting I mean gale-force winds all afternoon, and we’d finally gotten enough stillness for Lauren to stand (in the canoe) and fish a little, when she suddenly turned around with a look of shock and said, “Oh my god are those people having sex!?”
Sure enough, a couple were doing the automatic teeter totter on a log right by the river. They *paused* as we floated by but didn’t exactly hide their faces in embarrassment. (I gather this happens on the Hooch kind of a lot – city people walk down to the river and think they are “away from it all,” when in reality they’ve just traded a highway for a waterway.)
This is right up there with the time we saw a voodoo chicken sacrifice, also in the Hooch!
So what’s the most hilarious, or weirdest thing, you’ve ever seen on the water?
Zach
PS Honorable mention:
I’ve seen nude bathers a handful of times, but the most awkward encounter involved a young man and just himself. I was fishing downstream, swinging a streamer, planning to exit at the bridge. I kept glimpsing a person downstream at said bridge doing…something. Fishing, I finally decided, but with strange technique and a lot of furious arm movement. 50 yards out I suddenly realized the pole in hand was not a fishing variety; what I was witnessing was an earnest and vigorous display of self-love. He noticed me about then, looked right at me, and (here’s the unnerving fact) didn’t stop. Although he was standing on the path I wanted to take, I opted to clamber up the far bank and fight the underbrush back to my car.
Four or five years ago, mid-summer on the Coosa River at Moccasin Gap (a class three whitewater) above Wetumpka, Alabama.
This was not on the river but it was on the water. If you look closely in the bottom left hand corner, near the point, you will see a boat.
This was just off in a little bay near Tampa Bay’s big bridge that goes over 275 (I think that is the road), Miguel Bay. We had been cruising down a mangrove line and were going to jump across to another one when we noticed the boat so we moved to the edge of a channel. Well as we were moving out one of the guys says is that guy naked? We looked and sure enough there was a dude on this boat butt arse naked. He was moving around the boat, standing and stretching for the world to see. The worst part was that there was a family around the corner on a little beach in kayaks, and they had two small kids. We debated for a few minutes and then called the Cops. About 15 minutes later here comes the MAN doing about 60 and as he came in sight around the point he stopped the boat on a dime, slammed it sideways and yelled, “Are you Fu.. naked?, You cant be naked out here!” We wrote a report for the cop and as we left naked man gave us the finger and the macarena hip shake (naked of course).
I hope the judge threw the book at him when he went to court, the pedophile jerk >:(
With the floods going on right now I heard that Bass Pro (which is under water) had a fleet of brand new boats headed down the Cumberland unmanned.
Zach, I agree that it is funny, heck it is kinda strange to actually do it. I was just saying most guys (that I know and talk to) in this area use these instead of kick fins. I was not trying to be confrontational at all. People walking down the trails or walking through the parks tend to give you very funny looks when they see a ping pong paddle attached to you or your tube. ;D
My friend Rich and I had fished the Sol Duc and Hoh rivers for winter steelhead for three days, with no luck. Finally, on the last afternoon, Rich hooked a nice hen of about 10 pounds on his 14 ft Spey rod. After a rather quick fight he had her up near the shore and transferred his rod to his left hand so he could tail her with his right. At that moment, she decided to take off, right between his legs.
So here was this guy with fly line zinging out behind him, slapping at his crotch, while he was trying to get control of his rod and fight the fish at the same time. If you have ever tried to do anything other than cast with a Spey rod, you know they are cumbersome beasts. Luckily, even though Rich was well into his 50s, he had been a high hurdler at Oregon State in his youth and was still in good shape, so somehow he managed to hurdle the line, turn around, and land the fish again.
Of course, that was also when I discovered that the waterproof case for my camera wasn’t really waterproof after all, so I got no pictures of the event.
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